37 thoughts on “Titles are hard

  1. We all know Gru is the godly height of 14.5 feet tall and can move at a speed of 200 Meters per second. Based on average dick size, Gru’s penis is around 14 inches long. Also, Gru’s dick would weigh around 2 pounds considering the average weight of a dick is .77 lbs. If he swung his dick in a circular manner, it would have the centripetal acceleration of 72.57 meters per second. This means that gru can dickslap with the immense energy of 11,421 pounds per sq inch at a tip speed greater than 584415.58336974 MPH. In conclusion, Gru’s dickslap has enough energy to smash through 6” reinforced concrete and will cause a thunderclap as his dick breaks the sound barrier. I rest my case.

    Jk, I further my case by pointing out The avg speed of ejaculate is 28 mph. This means that gru can ejaculate at a speed of roughly 70 MPH when standing still. If he decides to fling his ejaculate by swinging his dick in a circular fashion, it will travel at 584415.5*70= 40,909,085 mph. This means Gru’s ejaculate travels at a speed greater than 24 thousand times the speed of a bullet. Considering the average mass of ejaculate, 3.5 g, gru’s semen will impact the target with the energy of 1.715e9 Jouls, or roughly the amount of energy released in 667 pounds of TNT. In conclusion, if gru decided to weaponize his penis, he could easily conquer the world.

    Now I rest my case

  2. If I am running backwards in front of a school at slightly less than the average jogging speed (8.3 mph) and ejaculate forward at 27 mph, am I now within the bounds of said road safety laws?

  3. What if you go 25 mph and bust a nut while driving then the nut only travels 2mph then it’s legal

  4. if you drive at 14 mph, and then nut backwards, the nut is technically only moving at 13 mph relative to the road. meaning it is in fact legal to nut in a school zone, as long as you do it right.

  5. Masturbating in schoolzones is allowed tho. U just gotta edge it all the way until u get home or to Starbucks

  6. For the rest of the world:

    – 27SM/h ≈ 12m/s

    ^(This conversion was done according to ISO80000 and the 1893 Mendenhall Order.)

    ^(I’m a human trying to spread awareness about the importance of international standards. Pls don’t ban. :'()

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