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ISureDoLikePickles
Guest
ISureDoLikePickles

That’s like asking a car mechanic to take a look at your boat because water is leaking in.

pm_me_your_tears
Guest
pm_me_your_tears

Today a colleague emailed me for help because he could print from Oracle but not pdfs..

Sn0zBerry20
Guest
Sn0zBerry20

I really like the capitalized What The Fuck for some reason

MagicRobotUnicorn
Guest
MagicRobotUnicorn

I used to hang out at a hackerspace that had open houses during an art Walk and every f-ing time someone would walk in and ask something rediculous like this lol

ParxyB
Guest
ParxyB

Friend-“Dude I have this great app idea”

Me- “oh yeah”?

Friend-“yeah just do all the work and I’ll drink beer and watch”

Me- “………”

Exogrief
Guest
Exogrief

Pip install hacks

TheWizardCat_YT
Guest
TheWizardCat_YT

That is the same as if I say
-Hey, I am an arquitect
-Good, can you build the Buckingham Palace for me?

nullyale
Guest
nullyale

You’re not the hackerman?

reinaldo866
Guest
reinaldo866

Usually when people approach me with things like “do you know about computers” I usually answer RIGHT before they even finish their question “No! I don’t know anything” in the rudest and loudest way possible even if they see me actually coding and proceed to ignore them and move away from them, it has reached a point where it just annoys me when people ask me “what do you do?”, I just answer them with crazy made up shits, “I sell cocaine” or “I traffick children”, “I am a prostitute” (even though I’m a male), you know… stuff that are completely insane so they comprehend that I don’t want to build their next Facebook nor hack their ex instagram.

​

It really has become annoying man, it’s always some dumb fuck that thinks you can have access to the NASA servers with a black screen and type a command just because they saw a guy hack into the pentagon pressing random shits on a keyboard and they “hacked the mainframe” with a fork, it used to be funny, now it’s just plain annoying

all_humans_are_dumb
Guest
all_humans_are_dumb

also, leave her the fuck alone

punriffer5
Guest
punriffer5

Also, hard no creep fuck off

billybobthongton
Guest
billybobthongton

Even if you *could* do this; that’s creepy as fuck.

100% just my personal opinion; but this would be singlehandedly enough for me to cut ties with someone

scroteydonk82
Guest
scroteydonk82

Sounds like you know some real creeps

Jicko1560
Guest
Jicko1560

I am disappointed in you. You should have made it. But it’s not too late to go back, you can do it, just follow this step by step tutorial to go back : [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQGbXmkSArs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQGbXmkSArs)

TheGoldenMinion
Guest
TheGoldenMinion

r/Badfaketexts you used the wrong font

3lRey
Guest
3lRey

fuggin get over it james

**SHE DOESN’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU JAMES**

imoutbruh
Guest
imoutbruh

you know dude, type on the keyboard fast and shit you know hack it

x1rom
Guest
x1rom

Oh I’ve been asked so many times to hack someone’s WhatsApp or Instagram or Facebook.

Like dude… My current project is an Audio Editor, the fuck do you expect from me.

carterfendley
Guest
carterfendley

Tell him you need his SSN and mother’s maiden name to unblock his number

epicgamer_xd
Guest
epicgamer_xd

Should’ve replied “Alright, I have hacked into the mainframe and disabled their algorithms”

MagicalPizza21
Guest
MagicalPizza21

I mean, that’s what *hack*athons are for, right?

blackhawksq
Guest
blackhawksq

yes I will commit a felony to help your stalking ass out

thiago2213
Guest
thiago2213

Just respond in the same ludicrous line of thought. Oh, you’re a mechanical engineer? Can you build me a car that looks like a Lamborghini but costs as much as a cheap car?

gergnerd
Guest
gergnerd

I mean, are you expecting intelligence from someone who doesn’t have enough to understand basics like boundaries?

apadin1
Guest
apadin1

“Hey I sort of know you right? Want to help me break the law and invade someone’s privacy?”

Hmm let me think about that…

zdaga9999
Guest
zdaga9999

Dude, I am mechanical engeneer student and i get such questions. People are generaly stupid.

macmillan333
Guest
macmillan333

Make this million dollar app for me, it’s like Uber but for haircuts, I’ll give you ~~$100 and~~ two weeks.

Edit: What do you mean I need to pay you? The app will be free to use right?

cd83
Guest
cd83

YOU ENGINEER SOFTWARE

A PHONE IS SOFTWARE

ENGINEER THAT SHIT

Alphadragon601
Guest
Alphadragon601

Software = Russian hacker

tmlaisygb
Guest
tmlaisygb

a girl in my class thought i was the shit because i made a window split screen

MarinaEnna
Guest
MarinaEnna

Send James to the friend that studied psychology to avoid him getting send to the friend that studied law enforcement.

The__Relentless
Guest
The__Relentless

The fact that you want me to help you stalk a girls tells me all I need to know why she blocked you. Imma do the same.

8euztnrqvn
Guest
8euztnrqvn

It’s crazy enough that he thinks you can just hack a phone and unblock someones number.

But what does he think he will get out of this, even if it was possible? This woman blocked his number because she didn’t want him to contact her again. Does he think she will change her mind about him if he hacks her phone? Should she be like

“awww, I despised you so much I blocked you, but now that you violated my privacy and stalked me, I suddenly like you, and the things I didn’t like about you in the first place, and that made me block you, don’t matter anymore!”

She blocked you. Take a hint.

BPerkaholic
Guest
BPerkaholic

Ask me. I’m a fucking sysadmin and one day a dude approached me sayin hell pay me 50k for hacking into the pentagon. insert my reaction

infinitytomorrow
Guest
infinitytomorrow

“sure, how much? I request payment up front”

IvanLabushevskyi
Guest
IvanLabushevskyi

Hey, you CS student? Please hack my abacus.

Happyfrozenfire
Guest
Happyfrozenfire

So that’s a yes?

Memelord370
Guest
Memelord370

“Can you hack X” is the “Hey can you draw me“ of CS students that and “hey i got a million dollar app idea can you make if for me”

Nope_6673
Guest
Nope_6673

Hey, you studied maths?

>Yes?

I need a favour 😬

Can you figure out how I can get out of debt coz it’s about numbers and that shit?

>…

43770i
Guest
43770i

Hey police, yeah that’s the guy

SoMuchJamImToast
Guest
SoMuchJamImToast

Block this dude’s number

Murgolash
Guest
Murgolash

When I get that sort of question I ask for 50k up front. That just keeps the conversation short and makes sure they will not ask again.

captainjon
Guest
captainjon

I graduated high school in 1999 and was already known as the computer guy. They even asked me to find the most vile things found on usenet (well I did know where to go of course. For science). So when I graduated my yearbook was littered with “dear porn master, have fun hacking Microsoft over the summer”.

Even when I was 18 I’m like how do I explain this to anyone even my future kid kids‽‽‽

Varian01
Guest
Varian01

I’m currently going to university 5-6 hours away from home, majoring in CSE. I don’t really text or call my family, nor do they to I. But whenever something doesn’t work, or someone deletes something, or connection issues to internet, I get a call.

Of course, my rest of family (cousins, aunt/uncle, etc.) found out so now I get random calls and texts. Cousin asks for free fortnite skins. Nephew asked to hack some guys Facebook. Weirdest one was my uncle asking if I knew how to get to the deep web.

just_benj
Guest
just_benj

James needs to engineer himself a better personality

Lordoficewrack
Guest
Lordoficewrack

I mean I would message the girl and ask her to unlock him just for a little bit so you can have that rep lol