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LegiousM
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LegiousM

Yes! Perfectly captured! This is why I hate graduation ceremonies

123n2tha4
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123n2tha4

My uncles snorf juice

No_Thot_Control
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No_Thot_Control

You forgot the video they play that always has Good Riddance by Green Day playing.

XxMemeStar69xX
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XxMemeStar69xX

Pretty much

DrCoolGuy
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DrCoolGuy

Missing the “Oh the places you will go” Dr. Seuss quotes

1depressedmess
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1depressedmess

I quoted the Happy Mask Salesman from Majora’s Mask in my salutatorian speech: “Whenever there is a meeting, a parting shall follow. But that parting needs not last forever. Whether a parting be forever or merely for a short while… that is up to you” like less than 5 people understood the reference but I didn’t care, I loved the Zelda series and wanted to put a personal touch on an otherwise copy and paste speech that everyone has heard before.

ExistingCleric0
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ExistingCleric0

Makes me glad I didn’t attend my own.

MaractusTheCactus
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MaractusTheCactus

Cheeto edgelord circle time

AskMeIfImSwedish
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AskMeIfImSwedish

“Webster’s dictionary defines wedding as “the fusing of two metals with a hot torch.” Well, you know something? I think you guys are two medals. Gold medals.”

AdeptAssociate
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AdeptAssociate

It’s what everyone does and it’s what’s expected. It’s a ritual.

Besides, what should it be? “I am so glad to be rid of all you … I bet $50 we’d be the next Columbine and sad that we weren’t because this school needs a social cleansing… So in conclusion, you can all go fuck yourselves! I’m outta here!”

Is that what you want to hear at graduation, or something even more cringe worthy?

kjhhfdss
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kjhhfdss

Includes some shitty metaphor about climbing mountains, and reaching the top, and how hard it was to do so

Spidersam547
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Spidersam547

” Among you are future doctors, lawyers, and maybe even the president of the United States “

Le_Reddit_Elder
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Le_Reddit_Elder

“There are more worthy people and I don’t deserve this”.

Recipient is always a ethnic Male or white female.

theguyfromuncle420__
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theguyfromuncle420__

I was on reddit throughout my uni graduation

xarcheus
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xarcheus

I’m graduating in a couple months and am already dreading those speeches

2_Z_Zach
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2_Z_Zach

It’s a shame that none of the valedictorians are interesting people which ends up making their speech boring as hell

Zippy1avion
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Zippy1avion

“Websters dictionary defines excellence as the quality or condition of being excellent.

And now, the class of….”

patriotsfan2000
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patriotsfan2000

You forgot the complaint about today’s society, something like “we spend too much, consume too much, without looking at the bigger picture” or something like that.