35 thoughts on “They raised me well

  1. Hello! This is just a quick reminder for new friendos to [read our subreddit rules.](http://old.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/about/sidebar)

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  2. LPT: When planning on paying for someone’s meal, don’t make the offer until after they order so they order more naturally based on what they actually want rather than trying to over/under game the generosity. I’ve dined with both types and it’s no fun either way.

  3. Something choosing beggars will never know… The embarrassment of someone offering you something and you being too shy/feeling you’d be taking advantage of them to accept. Sometimes i wish i could accept something from someone and not feel bad about it or obligated to reimburse/retribute in some way. But it’s the right thing to do, i guess. It’s not right to take advantage of people and make them pay you things.

    Edit: Omg, someone gave me gold. I guess you’re teaching me to accept things… Thank you, kind soul.

  4. Went to a generic steakhouse with my boyfriend in the first year or so of dating, for some occasion (my birthday maybe?). I remember panicking about what to order because I knew he was going to pay and everything was expensive to 18 year old me, so I ordered a burger…. at a steak place, because it was cheaper. He gently poked fun at my choice, and that helped me realize that I don’t always need to be that concerned (I still do it though and usually just pay for myself to avoid the issue in general).

  5. My mind races when this happens.
    What’s worse for me is when I intend to pay, but someone else says “I’ll get that for you.” I then don’t have the chance to order the lesser expensive choices.

  6. Etiquette: Ask what is good and what other people are ordering or let them order first, then use the cost of the meal of the person paying as guidance for reasonable cost. Stay within a few dollars if they order the cheapest items or under if they choose something more expensive. If the offer is sprung after you’ve ordered, show thanks with grace at the time they offer and at the time of payment. Offer to tip if that’s a thing where you live.

  7. If someone else is paying for me I always order something in the same price range that they order. If they get a dish that’s $12.00 then I’ll get something that’s $12 or below. That way I don’t feel like I’m taking advantage of them 🙂

  8. I’m paying: “Two Burgers, fries super sized, large drink, maybe some ice cream”.

    Friend pays: “Just some fries and a small drink. Thanks” or “I’m good, I’m not really hungry, but thanks for the offer!” (Even though I am somewhat hungry)

    I’ve irritated friends because I always ordered such a small amount when they pay, and they know from previous meals I could eat more. I just don’t like making people spend too much on me. I always feel bad even though I know they don’t mind.

  9. You know they didn’t but, my 100lb. Self eats like a killer whale any way sooooooooo they knew what they were getting into

  10. What I wasn’t taught is what to do when the other person says to get anything and I just kinda sit there like “Uuuuuuhhhhhhhh”

  11. I used some slight trickery years ago when I was at summer camp. On trips, if we went to a restaurant, we would be given an upper limit of what we could order. However, I figured out that this was because there was a collective limit that the camp would pay, and that the counselors wouldn’t itemize the receipts. So sometimes, knowing that other campers would under order, I might order something a bit above the limit. Just because I could.

  12. My partner invited me out to eat with their father and them years ago. We went, and only 2-3 items was on the menu. I don’t eat white bread, at least not when I have a new partner hehe (extreme gas, it’s just not fun guys). The cheaper(still expensive) item was a burger and the expensive(even more expensive) thing was a steak. It was quite expensive. I said “I get stomach aches when I eat too much bread………”, the waiter came and asked if I wanted the steak, I looked at the father, he nodded and I agreed.

    I still feel so awkward. I did tell him it was the most delicious steak ever and I was truly enjoying it, so much. I told him I was so grateful. But I felt so bad. I still do, but I don’t like burgers and I hate being bloated and gassy, so since the burger was expensive too, wasn’t it better to not waste his money on something I’d hate? I think I got some points for being into steak though, but I hope so much he doesn’t see me as a greedy fucker.

    Can you forgive me, Reddit?

  13. I do the mirror rule. If the person I’m with orders two expensive drinks and a steak, I’ll buy the more spendy entree. If they get something modest, like a sandwich or salad I’ll do the same. Is why I always ask my date what they’re looking at ordering before we do!

  14. I like expensive food menu items typically, and so I’ll make an announcement pretty early on what I’m ordering in order to make sure that whoever I’m treating knows that I’m willing to spend some money. I also make sure to let them know that we should get drinks so that they feel comfortable with that too.

  15. My aunt once took me out to eat and I didn’t know what to get because everything was like <$14 and I was sort of panicking but was like ok and got some chicken tendies

  16. I agree. When people say “get anything” it doesn’t always mean get anything, it’s simply the polite thing for them to say. And I think the polite way to show your appreciation for their curtesy is to be modest in your selection.

  17. If it’s your friend, sure, but if it’s a business expense on a trip, you should definitely have some fun within the limits.

  18. Oh man, i thought it was just me! I almost always go for the cheapest option on the menu whenever someone is paying, because i don’t want them to pay too much

  19. My younger brother, his whole life, has always ordered the surf & turf or whatever expensive-as-ass thing is on the menu when someone else is paying (mostly our dad). It’s always irritated me so much… he’s 26 now and still does the same thing. My dad has always brushed it off and told him he could get whatever he wanted, but to me when there’s one $75 meal and then six different equally delicious looking meals in the $20-40 range, it’s just inconsiderate to order the most expensive thing when somebody else is paying.

    Seeing as we’re siblings, I’m guessing for him it’s more nature than nurture!

  20. In my experience I order low because I can’t afford it, and don’t get dessert. If someone’s going to pay for me they dont tell me until the end, they talk up dessert but I’m like “nah I’m good”, thinking I’ll save myself money. Then we get up to pay & if they insist on paying I silently mourn my free dessert.

    So many good desserts lost

    Edit- I’m not saying if they offered to pay from the start I would have taken advantage & gotten dessert, but sometimes (especially relatives) really want to treat you & talk about dessert without saying they’re paying, gets confusing

  21. Advice: on a date, don’t pay half just pay for what you order. That’s just courtesy.

  22. I try to get an idea of what the other person is thinking about ordering. If this isn’t possible then I order on the lower dollar end and never ask for an appetizer.

    I’m not a drinker but if I was I don’t think I would ask for wine or anything unless the person paying did.

  23. Legit i always end up being the one who pays and a girl I recently dropped used to ALWAYS do this. Last time I saw her I spent $100 on us and that included food for the week.. she ate most of it 😪 legit pissed me off so much and she wonders why I blocked her smh shits already hard enough when you barely have money for a bloody coffee in the morning and nothing else threw out the day, legit my diet consists of tea, coffee, and cheap foods (which usually turn out to be junk) or anything I can buy with a gift card atm. Also just want to include this girl does not live with me and never has but when ever she stayed at my place for the night she would eat near everything I had before passing out and when she woke up ate more, this girl does not struggle with money or food

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